Have you met Debbie Downer?
This is a phrase that women named Debbie dislike. Debbie’s probably hate this term as much as Karen’s hate the negative way Karen has been used.
Lisa Brandt wrote a blog post this week about being a Debbie Downer. It’s a great read – as are all of her posts. In it she writes, “Debbie Downer lives in some of our heads”.
And she’s right. Do you have a Debbie living rent free in your head now? Do you want to evict her?
What is a “Debbie Downer”
Merriam Webster defines a Debbie Downer as “a negative or pessimistic person : a person who speaks only of the bad or depressing aspects of something and lessens the enthusiasm or pleasure of others”.
My husband used to have a friend who I hated when he and his girlfriend went to the movies with us. Well, I didn’t really hate him, just what I knew he would say after the movie. You could count on him to say almost every time after the movie, “well, that wasn’t realistic”. Of course it wasn’t realistic. It was a movie. Not a documentary. I watch movies to escape from realistic.
The other one that I love always comes up during the Olympics. When someone comes in second in a competition, there is always some unthinking reporter who will say, “he/she had to settle for silver”. Okay, sure, gold is the top prize and it would be great to win that, but there is only one gold medal. And to me, being the second best of all the athletes in the world is still pretty good. Katherine McPhee came in second on American Idol and still got a record deal and has built a respectable career.
But here’s the thing. No one was born with this attitude. Babies are happy and positive as long as their basic needs are met. They are not born negative or pessimistic.
This is a learned behaviour. As we experience life and the world around us, certain feelings get programmed into our subconscious and we form habits that are not always positive. Like having to find the negative when in something when there doesn’t have to be one – becoming a Debbie Downer.
This behaviour is basically negative self-talk being said out loud and directed at others.
Is Debbie living rent-free tenant in your head? Do you want to evict her?
What is learned can be unlearned. The negative feelings that are stored in your subconscious can be changed with hypnosis.
If you have a Debbie and would like to kick her out, to hand her eviction papers, I invite you to book a free inquiry call to discuss how hypnosis can help you to just that.
I look forward to meeting you.