Do you ever find yourself hesitant to ask for what you want? It could be a raise at work, a favour from a friend, or something intimate in your personal life. Whatever the situation, the fear of asking for what you want can be paralyzing.
I recently received an email from the company that sells a plugin I use for my website. It had an offer for new customers with a great discount offer. My subscription was coming up for renewal, so I wrote and asked if I could get the discount. After all, I’ve been a loyal customer; all they could do was say no.
Which they did, but not really. They said no to my initial question but offered me 50% off my renewal. If I had hesitated to ask for the deal, I wouldn’t be saving $100 this month.
It’s natural to feel nervous about making requests or expressing our needs, especially if we think the answer might be “no.” However, if we let this fear control us, we may miss out on opportunities or settle for less than we deserve.
So, why are so many afraid to ask for what they want?
Here are three common reasons:
1. Fear of rejection
We worry that if we ask for something and get turned down, we’ll feel embarrassed or humiliated. This fear can be powerful when asking for something personal.
2. Fear of being seen as selfish
We don’t want to seem demanding, so we hesitate to ask for what we want, causing us to feel guilty or ashamed for having needs and wants in the first place.
3. Lack of confidence
Sometimes, we don’t feel confident asking for what we want. We might doubt ourselves or our worthiness, holding us back from speaking up.
How to overcome the fear of asking for what you want
1. Practice self-compassion
Be kind and understanding with yourself. Remember that it’s okay to have needs and wants and that feeling nervous about expressing them is natural.
2. Be clear about what you want
Before you ask for something, take some time to be clear about what you want. Be specific in your request. This clarity can help you feel more confident and reduce the risk of miscommunication.
3. Focus on the benefits of getting what you want
Instead of the potential rejection or criticism, focus on the benefits of asking for what you want. What could you gain if you got what you wanted? How could it improve your life or relationships?
4. Take small steps
Start with small requests and work your way up. Baby steps can help you build confidence and get more comfortable asking for what you want. Remember that practice makes perfect!
5. Use hypnosis to overcome that fear
Were you made to feel bad or embarrassed in the past for asking what you wanted? Did it happen more than once? You may not even remember the specific instances it happened, but those experiences are locked away in your inner mind and are now causing that fear. Hypnosis can change that inner programming so that you can confidently ask for what you want.
Overcome that fear of asking for what you want and watch your life soar!
In conclusion, you are not alone in having a fear of asking for what you want, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By practicing self-compassion, clarifying your requests, focusing on the benefits, and taking small steps, you can confidently overcome your anxiety and start asking for what you want. You don’t have to be afraid any more.
Why not book a free consultation to discuss how you can overcome that fear of asking for what you want. It could be the 45 minutes that changes your life.